I really don't struggle with my typical little friends anymore. What is strange is that I now find myself jealous of other special needs kids who can do more than Anabelle. It's like, "Okay, I know she's disabled, but does she really have to be THAT disabled?", or, "Look at (so-and-so), he has the same diagnosis as Anabelle, and he's playing with toys!" I threw out the typical milestones, and found myself instead judging her against the milestones reached by her SN friends, and then getting frustrated when she couldn't do as much! How sick is that??? I'm jealous of the kids who "only" have microcephaly, because they typically are higher functioning than the lissencephaly kids (Anabelle, in the overachieving way that I should expect from my child, has to have BOTH conditions). I'm jealous of the liss kids who can walk and/or talk, even though I know that their parents will have to endure the additional heartbreak of watching their kids lose those skills over time due to seizures that wreck their bodies. I'm jealous of any mother whose child has ever been able to say "Mama" or give her a hug or kiss.
So while I am legitimately excited for my SN friends when their child displays a new skill or reaches a goal in therapy, a part of me still goes, "Why can't that be Anabelle?" Especially when lately, it seems so much of what we have been doing has been dealing with more and more complications and setbacks, when, at 15 months, she should still be moving forward.
But, I'm trying to not focus on any of that. In the long run, I'm not sure how much it is going to matter to Anabelle how many skills she is able to gain, as long as we can keep her happy and healthy. The only days I really worry are the ones when I can't make her smile. Then I know she is "off". As long as she keeps the smiles coming, I think we'll be okay
The glowworm her sister gave her the day she came home from the NICU is still a great favorite!
It is SOOOO funny that Mommy has been trying to get me to nap for 2 hours now, and all I want to do is play!
Haha, Sissy made us both wear these ridiculous outfits she picked out!
Sissy's a crack-up!